It’s is very close to Valentine’s day and Cupid is definitely in the air. Now would not be the right time to say anything negative. In fact now would be the perfect time to write a blog in praise men. I’ve often been accused of being a tad negative towards men in general. Well my acerbic tongue aside, I have always admired men. My ideal in life is a man – no points for correct guesses. I’ve tailored my entire persona around him and have always aspired to be as good as him.
Ahhh! Men, Men, Men. Can’t live with them, can’t live without them. Can you imagine just for a moment, what the earth would be without men. Let’s just picture the earth being inhabited just by women…. I cannot. If there were nary a man, who would we lech at? Who would we drool over? Who would the women marry? Please bring back the men. Poof! And men now inhabited the earth. Thank God I can now sit and make moon eyes at SRK all day long.
Jab Tak Suraj Chaand Rahega, tab tak SRK TV pe rahega.
Marriage some say is an institution. The sentence that always follows this is – and who wants to be in an institution. Well I for one. It’s a wonderful institution. Marriage gives you the luxury of not always having a best friend. Coz your best friend is now your spouse. In my case, I just married my best friend. You never have to make a decision by yourself ever again. You can instead make a decision together. Of course, doobenge to dono saath milke doobenge….. but that’s just minor details.
Over the years they say, women have evolved from being a homebody to a career person etc. But over the years men also have evolved. They’ve had to morph themselves to complement the changing woman. If the definition of a woman has changed so has the definition of being a man. Once upon a long, long, long, long time ago, much before my time apparently men were MCPs. They were the bread winners and they were the patriarchs of their family. But Neanderthals went out of fashion at the turn of the previous century. Men in my generation and age group have a pretty tall order to fulfill indeed. Women today (and I am as guilty as the next woman) require their men to be a little bit of an MCP and yet be soft, gentle and kind. We like our men to cry sometimes and yet we don’t want a namby pamby for a spouse. We want then to be strong and resilient and a shoulder to lean on. And yet be respectful of us women, and let us make our own decisions.
I guess we are not sure what we want – but then we’re women and not knowing what we want is our prerogative. That’s just the long and short of it. And here we have to give it you guys, you manage to somehow fulfill our nebulous requirement and more. What would life be without all you men.
Growing up we often visited my Grand Parents in South India. My Ammama(Grand Mom) and Tatayya(Grand Dad) were a couple made for each other. Ammama was nearing complete blindness. She had weathered the ups and downs of life with a determination that comes with lack of monetary funds but age finally caught up to her. She was a Doctor’s delight – she had Diabetes, high Blood Pressure, cataract and a whole plethora of medical complications. Tatayya didn’t have as many complications as Ammamma but he was growing old rapidly and the body definitely was not as energetic as before. Every morning, Ammamma would park on this long wooden Sofa placed in the front verandah and would then beckon to Tatayya. And then would begin her litany of complaints. Even as a teenager, I was always awestruck at how long and how consistent a monologue my Grand Mom could keep up with her own self. She was content airing her issues while my Grandfather at the other end of the sofa slept like a baby.
Sometimes in the middle of a particular grievance, Ammamma would prompt him for a reply and he would somehow grunt the appropriate “Aahhhh” despite being sound asleep. What an amazing marriage those two had. They never fought – or maybe they did but definitely not with each other. That I would say is the key to a happy marriage.
It takes two to clap, and it definitely takes two to fight. When my husband and I were dating, I found it most annoying and dissatisfactory to see that my boyfriend at the time did not fight. I could call him a duffer and he would just very calmly agree with me. Of course my husband now gives back as good as he gets. And he has the cheek to say it’s all my influence. Not being able to fight was a tad bit dissatisfactory but it definitely would have been better than the sulking we both do after a good fight. I almost wish I was more influenced by him than the other way around.
Marriages I believe are made in heaven. eHarmony, can claim to do it but life partners are truly picked somewhere above the big blue sky. Pick any couple and you’ll see a certain rhythm. A certain pattern that kind of makes one go – Yup! Those two belong together. Or It’s no surprise those two ended up together. I definitely have done some elaborate observations on this and it’s always held true. Ammamma and Tatayya were destined to be together. Ammamma was the flamboyant firebrand to my ever patient, resilient Tatayya.
Men and women are both from Earth, I say. And I can prove it.
Men can be as silly as us women – but you just won’t be able to get then to admit it. Men can tear up like the next women – again try and get them to admit to it. Men can fight as dirty as us women. They can do emotional blackmail as well if not better than us women. Men can be brave. Men can be kind. Just try and get them to admit it.
Similarly, women can mow the lawn just as well as a man. Women can empty out the garbage just as well as a man. Women can pick up dead mice just as well as any man. But try getting us to admit to it.
Happy Valentine’s y’all. And let’s lift a toast for all the special men in our lives.
