Gift giving and Gift receiving are both art forms. Both need some practice and both give a lot of pleasure. Often times, we stress more on Gift Giving. Ever heard of “It’s more important to give than receive”? It is true that giving is absolutely more essential, but a body also needs to also learn how to receive.
I love giving – be it advice or gifts. I’m much better giving both than actually receiving either. Try giving me advice and I turn into a regular porcupine with my quills all bristled and ready for launch. Try asking me for advice, and I can preach till the cows come home. Giving is so much more fun than receiving.
Every year the first quarter brings with it a plethora of occasions that require a sound memory. I have a great memory but somehow when b’days of loved ones roll by or aniiversary dates come by, I remind one of an utterly absent minded professor. I got married twice, to the same husband both times. And I forget both the days every year – without fail. You would think that by the time the second anniversary date comes along, I would remember, especially since there are just 30 days between the two anniversary dates. Nope, the day comes and goes like any other day with me being non the wiser. My husband on the other hand has a memory for dates, he remembers every single date that I forget. I’m not sure how he does it, but the man has an appetite for important dates. I’m still waiting for him to forget our anniversary date….it’s been a long wait so far.
And he is particularly cruel because he waits till noon time on say his birthday and at 12:30 pm, he will call me and sing Happy birthday to himself. Now if that is not cruel, I don’t know what is. The first quarter of every year is one long guilt trip – there are four important dates and I usually forget all four of them. But, I do remember the important stuff – I remember the precise moment when I knew I’d fallen head over heels in love. I recall the exact moment when I knew this was it. My husband still cannot answer a simple question like “So what precisely was it about me that made you fall for me?” I love torturing him with that question. Actually am I torturing him or myself . Oh well!
The female gender usually is a good record keeper of dates. As the song from Hum Tum goes, “1st Jan ko tumne mucjhe chua tha. 3rd April, mujhe kuch hua tha….”. I’m uncharacteristically absent minded about dates. In my defense,……wait, I’m still thinking…….I guess I have no defense. I suck when it comes to remembering my own anniversary date(s), that’s all there is to it.
So this year, I forgot my anniversary again – well, what can I say, I’m incorrigible. This year, I’ve made up my mind not to forget my Husband’s birthday. I’ve got a sticky note at work reminding me of the same. I have yet another sticky note in my study at home reminding me of the same. There is no way I’m going to forget it this year.
Even though I often forget important dates, my heart is in the right place. The few times when I do remember, I go all out when it comes to gift giving. I scratch my head to first figure out what my husband really wants. If you think this is easy, you probably have never bought your spouse a gift. It is tough, after all the man has everything he will ever need – he has me, what else can the man want for? J
But seriously, over the years I have always managed to surprise my husband with a gift that he didn’t know he wanted. One year I gifted him a very expensive tea service. Bone china with a gold embossed border. Did he like it – absolutely. It may sound like an odd gift to give a guy but hey, if the shoe fits….. Another year I bought him an IPOD, I think he fell in love with me all over again for that. He just loved that gift. When times were lean, he had to make do with a gift wrapped box of Carrots. But again, it is the thought that counts right.
My husband I have to say is not the sharpest tool in the shed when it comes to Gift picking. Granted, he has some additional constraints that I don’t have. But still, how tough is it to buy a gift for me Huh! Last year I was so fed up not getting anything for my birthday that I actually told him the exact perfume I wanted and where to buy it from – the man goofed up on that too. My birthday came and went and I still was sans the perfume. He’s not the only one to blame for this, I too am at fault for the current status quo. The first year we were dating was easy, I got a stuffed Gorilla and a stuffed snake – I know ridiculous taste but I was happy. My first year of being married, he gave me a dozen red roses. The most gorgeous roses I ever laid eyes on. And what was my next step – I couldn’t just say Thank You – no, I had to ask him how much they costed and what was he thinking spending do much money on something so frivolous. Yup, I can be a jerk. So from that day onwards, my gift receiving days were far and few in between. It’s pretty much like the rain in the Mojave Desert – sparse to none at all.
He gave me a couple of shirts not too long ago and what did I say to that – “Don’t buy me clothes. I prefer doing that myself.”
He tried jewellery and what did I say – “That’s too expensive. We can use the money for the kids’ college fund.”
And so the poor man has stopped trying. Can I blame him – ummmm – Absolutely! I want flowers (even if I don’t trust him to choose the right kind), I want jewellery, I want perfume, I want…. I want…. I want…
Over the years, I’ve always managed to pick a gift that he either wanted or he liked. You could say I have a gift for gift picking. The truth is my husband is an awesome gift receiver. Anything I give him, he accepts gracefully and makes me feel ten feet tall. I could buy him the most ridiculous gift and the man will graciously accept and thank me profusely. He will never make me feel like I have a ridiculous sense of taste or choice. I know we need to give more and concentrate on giving generously. But over the years my husband has taught me that just to give is not enough. One has to learn how to accept gracefully. I’ve often told my children to always say thank you when they receive a gift, no matter if it is something they like or don’t like. So why am I such a baby when it comes to receiving gifts from my husband. Hmmmmm!
My husband’s birthday is almost here and I have the most perfect gift picked out. What is it, you ask. I’m not telling. Ask my husband after I give him said gift.
